A 5t reversal of fortune;

The morning email brought a new revelation. Melbourne had included digital pictures with his explanation. "My Dear Samuel:" it began. "It has come to my attention that your beloved 5ts have a public relations problem beyond compare in OZ! They appear to be engaged in a political revolt against Pacifism in its Australian manifestation; they are involved in gun running. Please contact management ASAP, and clue them in... I'd hate to see Texans badly received here OR in Vietnam." The browser broke for a new paragraph.

"Please find attached pictures explaining my URGENT request for verification that Newton's Laws of Physics have not been reversed. Andrea's last three upside down cakes have come out upside down! I am aware that those prepared with Hawaiian Pineapple are intended to do so, but Andrea assures me that her Italian and French Pineapple versions fared no better, and all three were upside down BEFORE she turned them over! Are you aware if Texan Pineapple upside down cakes are similarly non-conformist?"

Sam was delighted to hear from him, and his conversation with Travis at Cassandra's was sufficiently recent that he looked forward to matching wits with a master.

He cracked his knuckles at arm's length in front of him as he warmed to his task. The backspace key flew, as he willed his thoughts into ASCII.

"Melbourne: If you call me 'Dear' anymore, I'm gonna _start_ by being CHEAP. Then I'm gonna teach you all about why these 5t impostors need warnings about US a'comin', not us about THEM. THEN I'm gonna stand up tall, right between you and the sun, and ask you if you need a hand to help you up! You got it? By the way, BTW stands for how unimportant this is, but I'll thank you to remember that the 5ts have NO Bureaucracy! THINK about it!"

He hit a carriage return. "Now as to these pictures: Did these Pineapples come from traditional ground level thorn bushes, or did they fall off of a turnip truck on a backhaul run? Our Texan Pineapple trees are like Mexican Jumping Beans in this respect: every Pineapple cake made with one since Betsy Ross, RELIABLY flips completely, right inside the oven. We had to _invent_ OVEN _CLEANER_, the problem was so bad. As such, the versions meant to be upside down were right side up, and we had to send away to Hawaii for Pineapples that don't do that. Fact is, it's ages since I've even SEEN a TEXAN Pineapple!"

[Carriage Return]"Again, 'BTW,' Abercrombie and Fitch have an aggressive position on Chinese polished cotton this year... can I invest a dollar or two on behalf of you and Andrea? You can make it up later, with a wire from Western Union. As a matter of courtesy, please note; the wire HAS to come from Perth, or I'd be taking advantage of you... Western Union is a _stickler_ for protocol!"

He scanned his effort, and it met with his approval. "Yours Sincerely," he pecked out. "Sam Clementine the Trey."

He shared his finished product with Ursula, and upon her endorsement mashed the "send" button. In a moment of weakness, she had blurted out her secret, and he was "in on it," now.

"I think you better blow it with Andrea pretty soon too," he shared. "If you don't, she'll think you made her take charity when she eventually finds out... and she WILL find out: It's a female eventuality."

Ursula knew that the word eventuality, properly used, meant that the event was unavoidable in every aspect but chronology. "I agree. All we can do is try and control the timing of the leak," she concurred. "Sam, you make my heart want to hug you all by itself!"

His upturned gaze brimmed with unfeigned adoration. "I love you Urs," he preened.

It _was_ his turn!