Bulletin: "BOOK" is an acronym

TTTTT - There is a new paradigm available for dealing with very old data storage mechanisms, such as have been available at the Library of Congress for decades. These devices, instead of requiring an electrical source, rely heavily on solar power. For data-storage density, they rely on a tiered and cascading paging system, not too different than computer caching, but developed completely independent from the electronic era. For quick reference, these pages are numerically organized with a pointer system, for binary search. To execute a binary search, one starts in the very middle, and searches the middle of each successively smaller grouping, until the exact location of an item is found. This method is so efficient in terms of page turning that even in a very large B(iologically) O(rganized) O(ptical) K(nowledgebase) can be searched for an exact item on an exact page within 73 to 91 seconds. This remarkable system was developed in conjunction with datatypes designed by ancient Egyptians, but hardly renderable to the modern B.O.O.K reader. Despite differences that many would put down to fonts, the cryptic old hieroglyphics are potentially still intelligible in their native environment. In larger compilations, a B.O.O.K that has folded many capsules of knowledge into a form that distinguishes the Latin "Pedal" for foot, from the Greek "Pedia" child, ((with a suitable attention to C(yclic) R(edundancy) C(hecking,) ))is known by the perplexing name "En- Cyclo-Pedia." These encyclopedias are encyclopedic, both in subject matter and topics, but each article itself is much abbreviated. To be fair, I looked up the word "abbreviate," in an Encyclopedia, and the explanation was hardly brief, but most other subjects are more condensed and distilled than elucidated. Overall, for abbreviations, I think one has a better chance in an ordinary Dictionary; I have spelled the whole word out in every instance lest you should fail to be able to look it up... bits and bytes are free.

A historical "Dictionarian" was Daniel Webster, a hero of Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett both, but only in a studious way that a hush of librarians could make you think of with all their spectacles on. Curiously, my Merriam Webster dictionary has no mention of the collective noun for librarians, but gives due consideration to; a) an exultation of doves, b) a crash of rhinos, c) a pride of lions, d) a school of fish e) a school of fishes, such that there are different kinds of fish, in a non-discriminating way, f) a pod of whales, g) a herd of almost anything - not a discriminating word at all, h) a clutch of eggs, i) a gaggle of geese, j) a flock of sheep, k) a pack of wolves and even l) a hand of bananas. This made me check to see if it was an exhaustive dictionary, and it made mention of a collection older than Texas itself, going back to the very days of Beowulf.. the O.E.D. Whatever an OED is, it is a more exhaustive dictionary than any respectable farmer would use for firewood, and the only more complete reference work in the world is a 100% redundant Encyclopedia. The whole point of redundancy is that there is a backup system in case of an emergency, and I immediately went looking for a 300% redundant Encyclopedia, for astronauts. They looked at me like they wanted to hit me over the head with the thing, and I left very quickly. It turns out that if you find a single SUBJECT in any ARTICLE in the Encyclopedia, that ARTICLE is referred to right back in the other article on that SUBJECT, wherever it is in the B.O.O.K. I was immediately smitten with the concept, and (rather than making any more efforts to find 300% redundant B.O.O.K.'s,) I went looking for a 100% redundant dictionary. This caused quite a stir in the library where I brought it up, because (for one thing,) these librarians had never known that they traveled in 'hushes,' although they faithfully 'shushed' me every time I paused for breath. Well, when they finally understood my whole idea, that 'hush,' ought to be in the dictionary AND that I wanted a 100% redundant one, they commended me to a personal study of pointers in a computer environment, just to know what I was asking for. Instead of calling me a complete fool, they told me that a complete dictionary was enough for the dead tree contingent and left it at that. I looked up "complete" in my new found treasure trove (the OED online,) and went to sleep looking at the answers, even before I looked at the answers in the back.

A sage young librarian smelling of tarragon was the TRUEST friend I every found in an Ivory Tower. She read my "stuff," on the wrath economy and asked me to come to an understanding with her; if I stayed out of sight back in the stacks, she would consider giving me my education. I assured her I would pay TOP DOLLAR, not just the going rate, but this sweet young thing promised to do it for free. I asked if this would not put her out, but she seemed put out by the very suggestion, and we proceeded to our rendezvous.

The secret that she told me was profound:


The final goal of every bit of data is unknown in cyberspace by any name on earth. To carefully develop data, it must be organized, and subjected to a discriminating editorial process. It then becomes new "information." By adding understanding to information, a little at a time, it results in full "KNOWLEDGE" - an abstract construct that encapsulates data like an egg.


She blushed a little, no doubt guessing what was going on in my fertile imagination. I couldn't help but try to impress her, so I tried to add to her understanding with what I considered to be "new information." IF I have knowledge, AND knowledge encapsulates data like an egg, THEN I must know Data. At this her temperature heated up, and she threw my words back in my face like verbal vitriol: "YOU are AFFIRMING the POSITIVE," she roared. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and my cool demeanor did nothing to warm her heart toward me. I eventually coaxed her to confide in me once again, but her repeated and urgent insistence that I should make all future efforts to affirm the CONTRA-Positive my imperative goal, went through my head like a wind tunnel, until all I heard was the roar of distant surf, dull and soporific. I don't think she ever got the POINT of my personal acquaintance with the sentient robot of the Star Trek Next Gen Series... oh well, she probably couldn't love me anyhow.

She finally told me that her name was "Cipher," and her address was "Double Ought, Null Road," just across the railroad tracks. I asked for her number, but she told me I could never fill the void in her life. As a parting gift, she told me to look for a 5t connection between the Colombian Contras and Sisyphus of Greek mythology. I looked it up - she was SERIOUSLY off on the Gregorian Calendar. Still, it is a good memory, and I wouldn't mind learning the same lesson again.