Commensurate Rage and slumbering Ire!

TTTTT - 5ts have come into possession of news regarding Canada in their ongoing efforts to represent Earth at the Interplanetary Diplomacy Competitions. In a pursuit of excellence, Canadians have made persons subject to export quality assurance criteria. In furtherance of this goal they have developed a ranked and bundled, 'Wrath Economy'. Raw wrath is not available in nature, and must be synthesized in a manufacturing process of adding value. Usually, it begins as muddy irritation that is worked using the labor resource of aggravation, until it becomes either wrath (softer and more rust friendly,) or anger (harder, and a product of alloy.) This leads to observations of unalloyed wrath at times. Canadians do not produce wrath under normal circumstances, and must be continually irritated and aggravated by their Government. Some wrath is melted down and used as annoyance, but the greatest proportion is either exported as anger, or the more refined agriculturally oriented manifestation - Indignation. Indignation is the main component of most Canadian diplomacy, and it is worthy of research as to whether the aggie red-neck population is buying it at all. When properly processed, indignation can even be modified into explosive anger, with disastrous results for consumers. Canadians do all things necessary to be elsewhere under these conditions. As a result of the commonality of the availability of the product of wrath in the Canadian economy, it is not uncommon to be asked (by a Canadian,) 'How mad _are_ ya?' By mutual acquaintance with ranking, Canadians overlook the inability of foreigners to measure wrath objectively, and usually no one cares. Under Socialism, if one person obtains an immodest quotient of this product of wrath, the envy of his equal polity is placated by a system of redistribution of wrath. Under these conditions, it is not uncommon for an angry Canadian to utter the phrase, 'Share the Wealth.' In cross-border disputes, Canadian lack a noticeable self-awareness in this matter, and do not see the connection between 'How mad _are_ ya?' and the more common and equally rude, 'Whatcha makin' these days?'

In recent history, Canadians have branched out from exporting processed anger and indignation, and gone into trading in unpaid aggravation. As a result, some US Government agencies are indebted to the Canadian Government, in large ways and in small. Long term aggravation demands repayment. That usury is to be involved is traditional Canadian culture, and they would be insulted if we neglected to offer at least SOME interest. American interest in Canada is hard to come by, so the situation has been exacerbated. In absence of a good system of mensuration, this has led to some confusion on both sides of the border. Considering historical precedent, some Americans have advocated forgiving the debt outright but this has been offset by those who observe that although third world countries are poor, Canada has no shortage of wrath, anger, indignation et al. As a result interest is unavoidable, although compounding it may actually result in continental drift at the Northern US border. Simple interest seems to be the best available compromise, and all best efforts need to be made south of the border to interest simple Americans in Canada's economy. As such, the best suggestion offered from the 5T Secretary of the Exterior is to use the melting of the Northeast passage to mine the Canadian Shield. It is to be hoped that the solidarity of unaffected blue collar workers will compensate the Canadians adequately in aggravation. If a person or Institution is unable to generate interest, raw aggravation may be used in substitution. Since these entities are usually not simple anyway, contract law may be the best arena. The best way to generate aggravation in contract negotiation is rigorous application of rules involving reflexive, commutative and associative applications. (It is to be understood that irritation will be freely generated, but absent real aggravation, adequate wrath may not develop.) In evaluating these, careful placement of commas, parentheses and the nested occurrences thereof, are all invaluable. For example, an offset clause can be rendered unenforceable simply by placing a single comma at an appropriate breathing spot in the middle. For justification one need merely ask opposing council to read the contract aloud. To avoid concentrated scrutiny, the confusion may be minimized by reducing the number of offset clauses under consideration, while the desired aggravation can be maximized by maximizing number of considered instances. After all reasonable renegotiations have been exhausted in this way, more refined products may become available for use by creative introduction of parentheses and improper nesting of statements. If these rules are carefully applied America's deficit can be conquered in no time. For the part of the 5ts, a rodeo analogy is recommended. The illustration is best observed in the clandestine services. Consider an asset to be the bull, his boss the rodeo Cowboy and the Canadian a rodeo clown. The Canadian unflaggingly risks life and limb to divert the Dilbertian rage of the asset from his pointy haired boss, only to have the asset seek his corporal punishment in every possible way. Nor is the gratitude of pointy haired bosses much to be relied upon. 5T advocates are instructed to take the view of the situation that the asset is just like UT's Bevo. Hook 'em Horns.