Refining too much upon it;

After time had passed (and no little conversation,) talk turned to a discussion of boundaries. "What was the worst movie you ever watched?" Sam asked Ursula. "I think it was 'Return of the Killer Tomatoes,'" she replied. "It's redeemed by having no nudity in it," he pointed out. She gave a moment's thought to it and asked "What about 'Half Baked?'" Sam knew he was going to win, and felt sorry that his recently discovered intended could not have played his hand. "That one was pretty bad," he admitted, "and Tommy Chong isn't that good looking, BUT the part about the complimentary 'squeeze box music,' with every bong (appropriately sized) was practically INSPIRED. It CAN'T be the worst movie EVER!" She took a moment to make him cross a 'T' before she capitulated. "Squeeze box music?" He smiled wryly... "Nobody EVER got _addicted_ to squeeze box music," he explained. "OK," she dotted the final "i." "What WAS the worst movie EVER?" He tried not to be too triumphant. "The Road to Wellsville." he revealed. "Never saw it," she rejoined, "Want to hear the Worst JOKE ever?" Sam's blood chemistry was at it again, and he observed that this was not really prejudice, but he was DEFINITELY conflicted about hearing a joke he didn't know and allowing her to win an argument at the same time. "I'd LOVE to," he responded, encouragingly.

She cleared her throat and cracked her fingers.

Once upon a time, there was a G-man at area 51, who had to build a garage for developing Land-sats. He drew up plans, with blueprints and measurements, and after much computation determined that he would need 999 bricks. He made a few calls, but all the kilns in the area would only sell him 1000 brick batches. He even called Acme (of Road Runner fame,) on the advice of a Cowboy named Troy, and even THEY wouldn't sell him 999. They wanted to sell him a 1000 brick batch just like everyone else. He gave up before he hung up, and ordered the bricks from Acme. He followed his plans meticulously, using adequate mortar etc, and by careful effort not to break even ONE brick, completed construction with the original 999 estimate (on time and under budget, no less.) His smug superiority could not allow him satisfaction, and he stewed for DAYS over exactly what to do with this ONE BRICK. He didn't want to use it as a door stop, because this would be a CONSTANT reminder of the problem, so he finally took it out in an open field and threw it up in the air, as HARD as he could, aiming for Jupiter.

She regarded him with satisfaction. When it was evident that he wasn't going to laugh, she prodded him a little. "Get it?" she asked. Sam regarded her somewhat cool-ly and explained that to qualify as a JOKE (even the worst one ever,) it HAD to have a punch line. She promised him that it was indeed funny, if only he could "GET" it, and decided to use a similar alternate to compare and contrast. He consented to listen.

The same day, a man got on a plane flying coast to coast, with a Cigar in his pocket. It being a smoking flight he was seated in the back row. On the same flight, but on the VERY FRONT row, was seated a lady with a small dog. Between the two, in the very middle row, was a lady with a crying baby. The plane reached cruising altitude, and the air-hostess entered the cabin. "I'm sorry Ma'am, there are no dogs allowed on this flight," was her first decree. All protestations that she had bought TWO tickets, etc fell on deaf ears, and in the blink of an eye, the air-hostess opened the emergency exit and threw out the dog. The next passenger to suffer her ministrations was the lady with the crying baby. "I'm sorry Ma'am, but you'll HAVE to silence the baby," she demanded. After no more than 30 seconds of dispute, the air-hostess settled the matter catastrophically, by seizing the baby and throwing it out the same emergency exit. After this extremism, the argument that the Cigar was not a cigarette was hardly worth remarking on... the Cigar went out the self same emergency exit. Two minutes later, an observant passenger looked out the starboard window, and shrieked that the dog had survived, and was seated on the end of the wing, "...and do you know what it had in its Mouth?" she concluded.

"The Baby?" asked Sam.
"No."
Sam frowned. "The CIGAR?" he asked in disbelief.
"No."
Sam furrowed brows nearly met. "Well, what DID he have in his mouth?" he demanded for himself.

Ursula cocked her head to the left, and looked up at him through long lashes.

"Why a BRICK," she explained.

Sam was unimpressed. "That IS the worst joke ever," he agreed. She might as well have been Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Next link SHOULD be "Literary License."