Part Two: The Secret of The Birds and the Bees.

The Aussie knew he’d already been a little familiar, and his head told his heart that if he didn’t choose his words just right, the Texan was going to do him in. But he had a job to do, and there was an open question on the table. He briefly wondered if a preamble about Waltzing Matilda might help, but decided to run the gauntlet of the Texan’s temper without further circumlocution. “It’s a question of integration,” he said, and began to spill the beans.

“To begin with, you have to have a discussion of the elements. There are two schools, each integrated with respect to race, but not to sex. The Men's school is the “South Pole School of Bio-mechanics.” The equivalent Women's institution is “Beaver Creek Memorial.” They are both night schools.

They are both very private institutions, and I know of them only by reputation... I have never seen any high profile published references.

The South Pole school offers the obligatory Bachelor's. The pre-requisites to admission are a manual dexterity test, and a correspondence course in art appreciation, free to the needy, and subsidized by the famous alumnus, Hugh Heffner. The British Admiral Byrd was a charter member, and his name is inextricably linked with the activities of South Pole students and alumni the world over. A few examples of the courses available to South Pole applicants are

- Reciprocation operations
- Fluid dynamics
- Pressure valves and safety releases.

However, their main college is devoted to the study and prevention of Repetitive Motion Injury. More recently, the name Bush has been associated with their University Mission Statement. In fact, there is a secret symbol, recognized by the entire South Pole Fraternity, though never verbally defined outside of the sanctuary of their inner sanctums that is as dear to them as it is secret. They hold this emblem so dear, and so deeply, that it is the passport to their friendship and industry, be they never so long a graduate.

Beaver Creek Memorial offers only one degree: an Ms. in Self Directed Studies. The whole institution is much less specific in its goals and objectives. At one point they were in fearful danger of annexation by the Government, when Dr Jocylyn Elders was Surgeon General. However, this potential disaster was averted by diligent work behind the scenes. A famous alumnus of this institution is Dr. Ruth, whose original self help manuscripts (executed by hand,) are still available at the school library. Example titles of theses that have been submitted at this institution are:

- The Washington Monument: Are we satisfied with its prospective durability?
- Are there any frozen estuaries, or is it physically impossible to prevent their reciprocation?
- Why is Brazil shaped the way it is?
- The size and location of Panama, with respect to Brazil: Can geography be improved upon?

The question for our consideration is this: Were funding not an issue, would there be potential benefit in integrating the two student bodies with a view to a more rounded result? Us Aussies don’t mind spending the money, but we really don’t know if it advances the actual cause. We know about the war between the sexes, and don’t want to lose it over a successful battle.”

The Texan pondered this for a while. He felt like the Aussie had trusted him, and wanted to offer something of value in exchange. Being a 5t, he had nothing profound to say, but he did have some intelligence that didn't come up in mixed company for barter. "Aussie: I'm gonna tell ya this in confidence, and it never gets told aloud outside the confines of this truck cab. The children of Israel have shared with the people of Texas the secret of the birds and the bees. We both have desert in common, and those who know the value of water, also know how not to say too much, but ya done broke my heart and now I gotta trust you. They shared it with us, and now I'm trying to share it with you - you got a pretty good size desert of your own. If you'll take a minute and ponder, you can see as well as me that if you tell someone a secret, it isn't secret anymore. But when I said about the children of Israel, I chose my words real careful and didn't say they said what it was. In the winter time, Birds always fly south for refuge from the cold. In a completely unrelated fact, a Bee will take you the most direct root to water if you see him in the desert. If you find his hive, you're stuck with honey, and that'll happen now and then, but it's a pretty good wager to make if you don't have a better choice. My point is this: They don't go around telling people this because they can't talk. But really, if they could they wouldn't know what to say. They just do it. Because they haven't told me, I can't blow it, but I share their secret. You said you like nature, so now you know!" With that they drove on in silence.