A red rose with a yellow streak;

Andrea was not willing to give up entirely on Sam, and was willing to carry a balance of a small deficit of credibility on his behalf if it would help him out. "What were the Russians doing in 1953?" she asked. Sam's spirits lifted at her solidarity, and he immediately couldn't care less if the Enquirer was educational anymore. "Making a brand new batch of virgins, just like always." "I suppose these alleged virgins were to be born naked and ignorant, too?" inquired Melbourne severely. Sam's six-gun stare fixed itself on Melbourne temporarily, and Melbourne truly quailed before Sam's eyes returned to the road. "Yes, but I'll not neglect to remind you of that when you've said 'I DO.'" he ground out, with the intonation of gravel, and the diction of sand in his teeth. "Be considerate Melbourne," Andrea scolded him... "No telling how many babies you'll be responsible for!" Melbourne looked duly chastened, and volunteered to be chaste.

"They were also enriching all manner of nukes as fast as they could. Why do you ask?" "I'm not sure... I was wondering if the educators in question might have been Russian," she expounded. "After all, the Chinese have their big experiment, and the Germans have theirs. Why couldn't the Russians be trying something similar?"

Melbourne was well aware that an inner ear infection could make one dizzy for weeks, and he felt the need to get one or the other of his friends to keep his outer ear occupied temporarily until he could get the inner one back in line. "Could you please be as specific as possible about the relevant experiments?" he rasped, dryly.

Andrea and Sam exchanged a knowing glance, and she began. "You may have heard of 'The Great American Experiment,' of 1776?" she asked. Melbourne was ready to kick himself already, but bravado gave him courage. "...and the German one?" "The Chinese Experiment," supplied Sam artfully. "The CHINESE experiment?" Melbourne was unabashedly incredulous. "I thought the CHINESE experiment was the _r-e-l-e-v-a-n-t_ experiment on Colonial soil BY said CHINESE!" "You've been misinformed," explained Sam. "The Chinese experiment was a flirtation with Marxism-Leninism, heavy on the Mao. It's remarkable that in a single country, acting in political unison, they have so many acronyms for government. They have PRC as officiators of the experiment, but the control group was never properly designated. There was a popular 'KMT' but a more commonly accepted 'ROC.'" "Right there, you've got to agree that the old experiment of everybody jumping up and down at the same time, like militiamen doing jumping jacks to the beat of the same drum, would help them understand that cooperation makes a group united and strong," Melbourne stated.

Sam nodded agreement, and continued. "One of their more famous Generals even invented the concept of Political Asylum, and sought refuge in a breakwater off the coast. The island put him up (and the women put up with him,) until he finally breathed his last, and is said to have expired. They put him in a cemetery just like everybody else, which was different from the way they treated Old General Grant, and the more recent Chairman Mao; Lenin too, but I digress. This KMT General left instructions just like Joseph in the Old Testament, that his bones should be buried somewhere East of Egypt. Someone forgot to pay the bill at the Motel where he was staying, and they are still feuding over whether his stay in the Cemetery is temporary or permanent." "Seriously?" Melbourne responded. "Well, you've got to keep in mind they are POOR over there... Proud, but poor too. For example, if they have to execute a dissident so his family can sell his kidneys, the Government bills the family for the ammunition." "In that context, I can see how a motel bill would become a matter of diplomatic dispute," Melbourne murmured, "It wasn't a NoTell motel was it?" Sam was not sure if the NoTell franchise extended that far east, but spoke with confidence despite this specific doubt. "Truth to be told, in that part of the world Red Light districts are mostly used as dark rooms, for film fanatics, but the General wouldn't have hung out in a run down neighborhood like that unless circumstances were TRULY dire. Meanwhile the Ghost of General Chiang guards the entire nation from hurricanes, just as any patriot would."

"Do you suppose Friedrich Engels knew what he was starting when he put Marx and Lenin up to it?" "He might have... the Nazis were certainly known for their record keeping." Melbourne did not clearly see the exact connection of record keeping to experiments, and took a different tack. "How do the Germans get away with shit like that?" "Not quite sure, but in the continental United State's territory it's been tradition to let every immigrant population make its own contribution to the melting pot." "Please go on, I'm all ears," Melbourne assured him.

"When aboriginal Americans welcomed the Pilgrims, the Pilgrims brought horses (or had you forgotten?) The next wave were the Puritans, with the stoicism, and the heavy Religious moral message. The Dutch made rocking chairs from Pennsylvania, the Germans of Texas introduced Ranchers to farming (and don't even get me started on wire-cutter laws.) The Slaves didn't have much, but they shared the Spiritual as a cultural institution, and made themselves indispensable in the cotton industry. The Irish became policemen; the Chinese built the rail-road, and started every respectable dry-cleaning establishment east of the Mississippi... I could go on."

"I think I get the gist of your point," Melbourne assured him. He turned significantly to Andrea and asked, "What of wire cutter laws?" Sam could tell that Melbourne was about to take offense, and briefly contemplated Hamilton and Burr, but assured her that he would carry his own water with the words, "Speak nothing if not the truth." She took a cleansing breath and launched out. "You may be sure that in all collections of stupid laws, Texas maintains its own presence. The main bait is the old saw that it is still illegal in Texas to carry a pair of wire cutters in your back pocket." "I'll play your foolish game," thought Melbourne, and underlined it aloud with the words "I'll bite. Why isn't that stupid?" Andrea could not turn back now, and continued. "If you are carrying them in plain sight, anyone can remark upon it and stop you. If you conceal them, you are being discreet, and not using them too awful much, but when you finally get to the point that you NEED them in your back pocket for CONVENIENCE, even the farmers get mad, and You HAVE to be arrested." Melbourne mulled this over for fully a minute. The silence fit like a new boot, and EVERYBODY was uncomfortable. "Am I to understand that the law about wire cutters was preemptive, and that ALL occurrences of ACTUAL WIRE CUTTING were prosecuted to the FULL EXTENT of the LAW?" Sam saw his opening, and offered a thorny olive branch. "I haven't seen a lot of mercy in the Texas Justice system," he said. "It's a fairly JUST state that way." Melbourne inhaled deeply, and addressed them both evenly. "I want it understood from now on that I regard the Yellow Rose of Texas to be Friendly because it is cowardly in malice!" Sam made his first down payment on his newly conceived debt of betrayal with the words, "There is no way in HELL the Russians were behind it." "Virgins ALL, just as you were observing," Melbourne said, his Aussie voice box remarkably matching the Texan's earlier braggadocio in timbre and gravity. Andrea felt very small, and was quiet as a Church mouse for the duration.